ROCHESTER, NEW YORK – Now don’t get too excited. It is not what you are thinking of, you green-minded people. It is the new book out in the market – Oral Sex: Talking and Listening Your Way to Passionate Intimacy by Drs. Brenda Freshman and Jordan Paul. It may not be totally about oral sex but it may be beneficial to most couples. Hear that – couples. The book is said to be about communicating about sex between partners, a redefinition of the term. Meaning, it is not limited to just the sexual stimulation technique we know of. On a feature over Expanded Books, the book is said aimed at teaching couples how to listen and talk their way to greater intimacy and in turn achieve the best sex of their lives. That made you think huh! How has sex been beneficial to couples? The authors said, as a lot of people talk about sex, that maybe thru the internet and other means, but not a lot of couples about their sex lives in their own bedroom. Well, I agree with that. Though not being a married person I also see and hear several concerns most couples would raise over their relationaship. Well, we see several interviews thru television talk shows tackling such concern. It may not be that a groundbreaking view of sex but it has its own way of giving spice to several beliefs about the topic. As Dr. Freshman said, “It (the book) is about helping people understand what their wants and needs are and communicating that with their partners, in a way that not only lead to great sex but that’s emotionally as well as physically fulfilling.” Oh, that’s something. I wonder if Filipino couples will appreciate this stuff. I don’t think sex is even discussed in a couple’s private bedrooms, if there is a private bedroom in inexistence. It would seem that with the surging population, Filipino couples are satisfied with their sex lives.
Now, the authors distinguished common beliefs and heart-connected beliefs about sex. Common beliefs, Freshman said, are those that disconnects one from their heart that are usually fear-based which put things in a light of right or wrong. I guess this would refer to the church-based beliefs, with clergies giving the boot on concerns regarding sex. With this kind of perception, the authors warn, disconnects one from his or her partner and his/her ability to learn more and to communicate. I imagine a woman who doesn’t want any more argument, just opens her legs and let her partner do his thing. And when it is over, both partners just sleep.
“You have no doubt heard that the largest sex organ is the brain,” the authors put it. Hhmm, let me check on that. There is one thing I believe is bigger and acts as if it is smarter than the brain. “However, since the brain both represses and frees sexuality, the key to unlocking passion is skill in the language of sex,” they add. Maybe, if one gets too expertly engaged in this skill, even by the mere opening of his mouth would stimulate his partner.
In Chapter One, the authors opined, “Talking and listening with a heart connection during, as well as apart from, the sexual experience creates a safe place for partners to freely express themselves. Their likes, dislikes, fears, need for freedom and emotional connection, shame and fantasies can be shared in a non-judgmental atmosphere of compassion.
“Open-hearted communication is loving, exciting, illuminating and satisfying. Feeling listened to and understood encourages partners to discover new things about each other. A sense of safety blossoms into a fulfilling closeness. The trust that is built allows old wounds to be healed, sexual and emotional intimacy to deepen and new possibilities to emerge.” Nice insight. I wonder what the bishops say about this. The authors should make fine variations of this book. Will it be beneficial to couples with disabilities? Like couples who are deaf and mute or perhaps, blind couple. As we all know, communication is not mainly achieved thru vocal means.
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Now, I know how it means when people refer to something huge as “American size.” I’m having the feel of it. And I’m telling you, I’m beginning to like it. It hurts at first but my goodness I loosened up and the rest is history. I should credit my friend, David William Smith, for letting me feel what “American size” really means. A great host, Mr. Smith has toured me around the city and to some faraway towns. But we take delight of is the usual trip to the grocery store and markets. I am practically amazed on the sizes of vegetables being displayed at stalls, especially the onions, tomatoes, leeks, cabbages and lettuces. Now I know why these things are meant to bed create by God bigger than what Asians have. Being American and physically big, a humongous meal is definitely a requirement. I’m telling you Ms Tess, if someone slaps you with these America-grown veges you’ll definitely end flat on your face. Now, that made me think why they don’t have annual tomato festival where people would throw around tomatoes at each other. If they do, they must require helmets be worn or it would be a disaster.
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